Because they’re from Hamburg. Well, not really.

I’ll leave you to argue about that, and give you the recipe! The measurements I gave you may seem flaky, because I just eyeball the ingredients. Hamburger is not rocket science. Puff pastry is rocket science. You can’t ruin ground beef.

You’ll need:

  • ground beef (1/4 pound per burger)
  • some chopped onion (about 1 cup per pound of beef)
  • oatmeal, quick or old fashioned (about 1/3 cup per pound of beef)
  • egg (about 1 per pound of beef)
  • any seasoning you like: garlic cloves, garlic salt, pepper, salt, lemon salt, bbq sauce, soy sauce, Worcestershire sauce, chopped green pepper, green onions, thyme, rosemary, curry powder, cayenne pepper, chili powder, anything!
  • buns, if you’re a bun person (I like my burgers nude)

Combine beef, egg, oatmeal, onion (minced) and seasonings of choice (I went for chopped garlic cloves, Worcestershire sauce, salt and pepper) in a medium bowl. Hamburgers have more soul if you mix with your hands, so don’t be a sissy. Form into patties as small/large as you want (1/4 pound to 1/3 pound is a good serving).

Cooking time. Sebastian insists on using the cast iron grill, which is a pain in the ass to clean, but healthier (drains out all the fat) and gives better results. Because I HATE cleaning cast iron, I just use a regular pan. Heat it up, spray with a tiny bit of olive oil, put patties on the pan (this would be a good time to brush them with your favorite BBQ sauce, if you wish) and cook for 10 minutes on one side (no flipping!), or until they look like this:

Flip and cook 5-10 minutes on the other side. Sebastian is a cheeseburger kinda guy, so he adds a slice on his patty right after the flip. We’re not bun people – we usually use whole wheat wraps, but tonight was a nude-burger night, and even then he couldn’t finish his third pounder! Here‘s the beef.

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